~~Nukilan malam~~

Tak boleh tdo, even kepala ni pening since petang tadi. Hati tak keruan, resah, gelisah... memikirkan pasal kerja.... Yeah, perkataan 'kerja' tu asyik berlegar legar dalam kepala sejak balik tanah air taon lepas. But right now, makin kerap berfikir tentang perkara yg satu ini...

Imtiyaaz dah 104 hari usianya hari ni, Alhamdulillah, dah besar anak mama. Dan orang sekeliling mula sibuk bertanya 'dah kerja ke?' atau 'bila nak start kerja?' Secara jujurnya, tiap2 hari memang I berfikir tentang kerja, mencari, bertanya... I'm trying hard here to find a job ok, and I'm still working on it.

Yer, rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana, and I mmg percaya pada those wisdom words. Apa yang I depress ialah when people keep asking, bila nak kerja, bila nak kerja. Nak kerja lah ni... tolong jangan tanya lagi boleh tak? Kadang2 naik hangin jugak bila soalan yg sama jek keluar. And kadang2 those questions jugak buat I menangis dalam hati, yer dalam hati... nobody knows apa yg terbuku dalam hati I sekarang ni. Menangis btol2 bley buat time org lain dh tdo jek, yer mcm s'rang ni, bley nangis puas2.

I know and I am aware of my responsibilities. I pun ada perasaan nak bagi duit kt my parent monthly, beli barang2 guna duit seniri especially for myself & Imtiyaaz, tolong hubby + abah bayar sedikit sebanyak all the bills, installments & belanja untuk umah. Semua benda tu I nak buat, it's just that... I'm jobless now... & I'm looking for a job. My crochet stuff doesn't seem work well. Boleh lah nak simpan sket2 dalam tabung Imtiyaaz :).

Bergenang air mata time tenung muka Imtiyaaz tgh tdo tadi, beralih sebelah kanan, muka hubby pulak. Oh no, bukan bergenang lagi dah, dah laju pun kuar. Dua orang kesayangan I apart from my family. As a wife, I have a strong desire nak tolong hubby especially time we all mmg btol2 in need of money, I tak kisah pun klu kena korek tabung. Duit simpanan waktu kerja kt Melbourne dulu pun dah nak abes sesangat. Bila dah ada Imtiyaaz, lg la guna banyak duit, tapi mama tak anggap pun Imtiyaaz sebagai satu beban. Imtiyaaz adalah anugerah Allah yg tak ternilai buat mama & abah, and mama akan buat yang terbaik untuk Imtiyaaz. And I percaya, ada rezeki untuk anak I sorang ni di mana-mana. It's just Allah belum kurniakan lagi untuk kami satu family.

Nak cari kerja ;

Resume...

Cover letter...

Portfolio...

Interview...

Semua perkara di atas InsyaAllah I akan update + prepare sket2... wish me luck. Moga rezeki dan kasih sayang daripada Allah SWT ada bersama - sama I untuk perjuangan yang satu ini, Amin.

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When you lose your way, to Allah you should turn.

~~Our pride & joy~~

It's been a while. No updates. Been busy. Plus lazy. And this is the back dated one.

Salaam & hi all,

The previous entry was only a filler, can I say that? So this is it. I haven't officially introduced my little hero on this blog yet. Faiz Imtiyaaz bin Faeizulazlan, that's the name given to our little hero (ekceli ai yg pilih nama ni, hiks).

After a day me fighting with the contraction pain (ni lah sobabnye hubby kalah dlm pemilihan nama baby), it left me no energy to push the baby out of the womb. So, it took me another 2 and a half hour in the battle (sakit tak tertahan sbb ai tak hamik epidural mahukan induce, so dalam keadaan gegak gempita tu, ai pun request untuk buat ceaser, but semuanya di tolak mentah2 oleh mak ai) before Imtiyaaz was born.

After few failed trials, the docs then decided to do an 'assist vacuum'. With all the energy left in me, I put myself together and pushed the hardest as I could while they vacuumed out the baby's head. Alhamdulillah, we did it! Our pride & joy was born on the 25th of June 2011 (23 Rejab 1432) at 5.26 am, Selayang Hospital. It worths all the pain that I had before as the baby was before my eyes.

An hour old - our twinkle twinkle little star :)

But 4-5 minutes after the baby came out, this question came out of my mouth "Baby dah keluar ke belum?" Dah..... kan tadi baby duduk atas perut awak," replied the doctor (Bley cenggitu?? Ai mmg dah mamai sangat time tu, sakit nak bersalin mmg tatau nak citer camana, asyik ikut mak ai Istighfar - hubby dah kuar dari labour room sbb dah pucat lesi, & di sebabkan sakit tu jugak, ai mmg dah terlelap tanpa ragu-ragu 4-5 kali dalam labour room tu, hih)

Our muuchooo sweetheart - 1 & a half hour old :)

More or less, this is the story about me delivering Imtiyaaz, I wont tell the scary cutting & sewing parts, only people who have the experience can imagine & know about it (^-^).

12 days old - a good khalifah to be , InsyaAllah

Faiz Imtiyaaz, you are mama and abah's pride & joy. You are the best thing happened in our life so far. We loved & will always love you day in & day out. May you grow up healthy & live a long life InsyaAllah. And our prays will always be with you, muaahsssss...

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When you lose your way, to Allah you should turn.

~~Peristiwa yg tk dpt dilupakan~~

Peristiwa yang tak dapat dilupakan hari ni, kisah anak bujang kecik I. We all (me, baby, mak & Yuih my lil bro) kuar arini. G klinik, g Tabung Haji bukak akaun untuk Imtiyaaz (thank you Mak Tok sbb sponsor Imtiyaaz bukak akaun, hih). Then singgah BSN pulak sbb my mom nak update buku akaun dia.

Sementara tunggu mak, check la pampers si anak bujang kecik ni, owh dia poo poo rupanya. So I pun bukak la pampers nk tukar, baby wipes suma siap sedia dalam henbeg nih, hihi. Nak jadikan cita, elok jek letak pampers baru, dia poo poo lagi, ada la secoet kt lubang bon*** dia, belum kena pampers lagi "selamat pampers baru", kata I dalam hati.

So I cepat2 amik wipes and cuci secoet kt bon*** Imtiyaaz. Tetiba jek dia teran baik punya kuar poo poo lagi. Yang mengharukan ialah abes poo poo dia terpercik dalam keta, itu termasuklah kena suar I, seat driver sebelah belakang, pintu keta CRV tok abah & tak lupa jugak sebelah belakang baju driver. Hahaha, haru biru satu keta.

Sib baik la ada wipes & tisu sekotak dalam keta. But then terpaksa singgah kedai runcit jugak beli ayaq untuk cuci suar & tangan I yang kekuningan. Seriously macam watercolor poo poo Imtiyaaz. Sib baik la takda bau lagi, kalau tak mmg pengsan suma org dalam keta, hih. Sekian, itulah peristiwa yang tak dapat dilupakan pada hari ini (^-^)

p/s : Kelam kabut sangat, so tk sempat nk snap pic. Harap2 pasni abah pulak dapat experience camnih, heh.

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When you lose your way, to Allah you should turn.

~~Tik tok tik tok~~

It was in AM..... Friday, 24th of June 2011

4 00, 4 15, 4 30...... continuously until 6 10...... there was a sign...

took a shower, asked hubby to wake up....

7 15, 7 25, 7 35.... continuously every 10-15 minutes..... until noon

And it was in the noon until late evening....

14 32, 14 53, 15 12, 15 18, 15 25, 15 32, 15 40, 15 47, 15 55, 16 04, 16 11, 16 19, 16 27, 16 36, 16 42, 16 49, 16 57, 17 04, 17 13, 17 31, 17 39, 17 50, 18 09, 16 18, 18 23, 18 28, 18 33, 18 49, 18 58, 19 06, 19 15, 19 20, 19 24, 19 32, 19 35, 19 45, 19 50, 19 55, 20 02, 20 05, 20 10, 20 14, 20 20, 20 23, 20 30, 20 37, 20 43, 20 49, 20 55, 20 59, 21 05, 21 10, 21 17, 21 22, 21 28, 21 35, 21 44, 21 51, 21 55, 22 04, 22 07, 22 11, 22 14, 22 16, 22 18, 22 22, 22 30, 22 32, 22 37, 22 42, 22 48, 22 52, 22 59, 23 02.... continuously every 2-3 minutes... until early morning

It was in AM again..... Saturday, 25th of June 2011

2 45.... the sign was frequently getting stronger & stronger.....

5 26.... (^-^) Alhamdulillah

I'm sure some of you been wondering what were the numbers for. They were the moments when I was fighting with the pain of contraction... and I did cry once...

Yes, me & hubby were keep tracking the contraction time.....

- easy for us to inform the doctors/nurses when they ask

- for Mama's personal record, so that Imtiyaaz will know how long was Mama fighting with the contraction's pain before Imtiyaaz was born (^-^)

Alhamdulillah & Thank You ya Allah for this precious moment & feeling.

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When you lose your way, to Allah you should turn.